Sunshine and sisters...

Every thing started out fine this morning, but by the time we needed to head off to school, we were for sure going to be late. I hate being late. That is not the same as saying I am punctual. More just that I get stressed and anxious, and tend to lash out when running late. In fact, I am always rushing it seems. And today, the rush was on. So, as I pulled into the drop off circle I had to shoo the girls out of the car by themselves. Just as they got out, sure enough the bell rang. And even though, we've been late before, watching the two of them this morning made me feel like crying. Probably because I wasn't able to walk with them like normal, and I felt the tears well as I drove away. For the rest of the day, I felt unsettled, and worried that they started their day so stressed.

By the time school was out, I was prepared to apologize to them for being late, and for lecturing them about being late while reassuring them that being late is not the end of the world. And, ok, the thought of a trip to the snack shop for some chocolate forgiveness had entered my mind. But that proved to not be necessary, as both girls came out of class happy and cheerful. I blame the sun actually. Because today I totally expected it to be cold and gloomy like it has been for days, like I was this morning, but it turned out to be bright and sunny. I decided to not mention the snack shop, and opted to ride the wave of their good cheer home, through homework packets, and out into the back yard, where they drank up the sun eagerly, and I marveled as I watched it feed their souls. Watching them at play, blew the cobwebs of my own gloominess away in a flash, and I felt filled as well.











Sunny afternoons are the perfect time to learn something new.... Like how to stick your tongue out at someone. (Thanks, big sister. I'm sure this new talent won't come back to haunt you)

Oh my...we brought Audrey to the ER the day after Christmas, on the heels of a blur of a drive home after a busy trip to Idaho. She was so sick. I started this journey already worn out and really should have been terrified but truly before fear set in my dear friend Lisa was there by my side. Through out this whole week members of our church body have come forward and became the physical, tangible hands of God holding us all. It is as if a safety net was thrown beneath us and all I needed to was lean into it. To rest in it. God wove that net using the prayers and words and bodies of so many of our friends and acquaintances. It wasn't long ago that I would not have known how to rest in His arms like this. Oh the sweetness of resting there... How strange to be this exhausted, yet feel the blessing of His rest. What a mystery. I am glad of the mysteries of God. I am glad to shake off the strife of straining to understand His ways. Rest. It is a word spoken to me years ago, and I am still amazed by what God has done in my rest. When I let my fists, worn out and tired of fighting, fall to my sides, and lean into rest. Oh, how sweet the rest feels. It is the honey to my lips; the coolness of still waters; the calm in middle of the storm. Praise you, Father, Sustainer, Lifter of my head. Praise you for your rest. Praise you for your body. Praise your name for healing my child.

Tis the season...

One of the truest joys of the Christmas season is baking all things yummy! The joy is made all the better when you have this cute little cookie monster to help.

I let her taste the creamed butter and sugar, and she eagerly asked for "more, more peas". Then I asked her if she really was a cookie monster, to which she promptly ROARED! Man, I love this girl!

And then there was this...


The big girls had just finished walking with their Girls Scout troop in our little town's Christmas parade, and afterwards we happened upon these gorgeous Ginko leaves in luscious, tempting drifts. Princess Buttercup leading the charge in true Linus Van Pelt style. It was fantastic fun!

More...

Tonight I cried myself to sleep from the wanting more... more peace, more of me to go around, more energy to say yes when Princess Sunshine Buttercup asks me to read to her, or when Princess Me Too says in her sweet baby way, "pawk, pawk."

It was one of those days, only it seems those days keep coming in, like waves crashing the shore during a storm. I want to be a better Mom. I want to do homework with the big girls without frustration biting the edge of my voice, because dinner needs to be made, baby needs attention, laundry needs doing, and the garbage is over flowing. Not to mention, we need to leave for dance or Girl Scouts in about 5 minutes, and someone lost a shoe. We are always rushing it seems. The threat of lateness looming heavy on my head. My old mantra of one foot in front of the other isn't cutting it right now. The waves keep coming. I need a break in the action. Some time to come up for air. Thank God Thanksgiving break is coming. We'll be traveling, but at least it'll be a different kind of busy, that'll include some real ocean waves, and maybe a bit of snow. We'll be with family, and someone else will be cooking. All of which, I am already thankful for.

So, for today, I will be adding just breathe to my one foot in front of the other, and will pray for grace to cover the rest.

Peace. {exhale}

This is how we do it...

Truth be told, I was not feeling "it" this weekend. Didn't even need a costume to be scary because I was grumpy and short tempered all week. But, then this happened...



And, it pulled me out of my funk. Love watching Little Miss Me, too get in on the action. Love how the big girls totally knew the drill this year. Carve the jagged top, scoop the guts, save the seeds. They were even reciting lines from It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Made me smile. So proud. Definitely ready for the big night now.

Speaking of...

How cute are they? The Librarian (her idea all the way), The Pumpkin, and Her Highness, Princess Peach.









I heard a statistic that put Halloween second only to Christmas on the Big Ten of Holidays. Surprising, and yet, not at the same time. There's nothing in particular that is celebrated by the costumes or the going door to door, giving and receiving candy. But then again maybe there is. Maybe it is the celebration of being with family and friends. The celebration of community. Of knocking on a neighbor's door for the first time all year. Of holding your little one's hand through the crisp night air of Fall. Soaking up the thrill of it all. At least that is how we do it.

Tuff question...

I hate the expression, "Everything happens for a reason." Truly horrible things happen all the time. Things that are so evil there is little a person can do but wall off a piece of themselves and look the other way. It is nearly impossible to wrap my mind around the reality of what evil happens to people, all around the world, every day. All manner of hate, murder, torture, rape, neglect, lies, greed, perversion, pride, violence, sickness, disease. Acts of malice perpetrated against young and old, rich and poor, good and evil alike. What reason is there to be found in the rape and murder of women and little girls, babies even? What purpose is there when orphans are left in solitude, neglected to the point of death? The way in which we humans torture and abuse one another are seemingly endless. And, so often it seems that evil begets even more evil. How then can it be said that all these things happen for a reason? I suppose it is something to say when words fail but are all you have to offer in the face of evil. Words that make it just a bit easier to live behind the walls we build to keep the darkness from overwhelming our souls. But I find no hope in this idea of trying to find a reason to explain why someone's mind can become so warped with evil that they act out atrocious, vile, acts of violence against another person. Saying there must be a reason implies a certain responsibly. Is a person somehow responsible for what is inflicted upon them? Is God? No. Evil exists. It is pervasive. It's vile fingers touch all our lives. Some more cruelly than others. It makes me sick. It seeks only destruction. It's purpose is only death. However, on the other side of this is redemption. I do not believe there is always a reason why evil happens. I do, however, believe in the power of love. In the power of redemption. When evil happens, Love is still there. Love is always greater, and the effects of evil are always offered redemption. Over and over again until restoration is fulfilled. Until what has been destroyed is made right. Until wounds so horrific are healed with truth and grace. In this is true hope.

Road Trip....

Let me just say that, I love my life. I love my husband. I love my girls. I love our home. But, I have to admit that after so many days of the same day in day out routine, of time when my husband must leave us so often to go do work that not many can do, a girl just needs a change of scene. You know what I mean??? When those times come, the best cure is a road trip! That's right. I said it. R-O-A-D T-R-I-P. Now, I love a good road trip. I just love the whole get out of dodge feeling I get when we leave the streets of our wonderful little town that are familiar with memories of growing up here. Those same streets whose there's-nothing-to-do-here boredom as a teenager I wanted to escape from, but whose charm and quaintness make me feel lucky to live here now. Still, it feels so good to roam someone else's neck of the woods, wondering what life is like among their streets. And what memories are held dear by the people who live there. Love it! So, we packed up our stuff, and hit the road.


Our fearless leader diving the entire 3000 miles (round trip) by himself. Love you, honey...




The view from my seat...




We made a point of visiting Grandpa on our journey, and got to see our cousin, too!



It was fun and so good to see the girls laughing and playing with their cousin as if 1600 miles didn't separate them.






Three kids, six states, eleven days...Not bad, huh? We camped some, stayed in hotels some, visited too far away family, and had a lot of fun seeing just a small part, really, of this amazing country of ours. Just what I needed- a concentrated together-time, family adventure.